Bryan Crosby Dot Ca » humour

An evening with Wikipedia and Answers.com: The road from Rome to the size-acceptance movement

Bryan — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 16:33:33 +0000

It all began with HBO’s Rome and a further interest in two of the main characters, Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus. The series is historical, but what about these two characters? That’s all I wanted to know. A quick 2 minute detour from media player onto the internet.

Sure, no problem. Turns out both Titus and Lucius are characterizations of the only two common Centurions mentioned in the works of Julius Caesar.

It just went on from there…

From Titus I wandered into an entry about the legion. This led to time spent reading about the Roman Army, the Roman Navy, Roman infantry tactics and Roman fortifications. It get’s a little convoluted, but a branch Firefox tab originated somewhere between the Julius Caesar and the legion brought me to Caesar Augustus (apparently the greatest Roman emperor) and then a big historical time leap to Marcus Aurelius and his son Commodus. Marcus Aurelius (yes, the one in Gladiator) is considered to be the last of the “Five Good Emperors”. Also with Aurelius is where the road becomes a bit more clear with a tab opening into the interesting concept of Pax Romana. Pax Romana has links to ideas regarding Pax Americana, Pax Europaea and Pax Praetoriana. Pax Britannica is in there as well as many others.

That pushed into thoughts regarding the rise of China. Is there a Pax China? That is when gears switched from answers.com to Wikipedia. Nope, no Pax China, but there is Pax Sinica (a much better term). At the bottom of that entry are more delicious links to the Chinese century and China as an emerging power. The term Chinese Century is considered to be a neologism. A neologism is a “is a newly coined word that may be in the process of entering common use, but has not yet been accepted into mainstream language. Neologisms are often directly attributable to a specific person, publication, period, or event“

…and there is a big damn list of neologisms.

I jumped into the following links due to neologism:

Chindia took me on a tangent to Sino-Indian war of 1962 (very interesting), Chimerica (which has yet to be defined), and portmanteau, which is a blend of two or more words.

But it was saddlebacking that brought me closer to the end. Saddlebacking is actually a link to Savage Love, which is an entry for the syndicated sex-advice column (it appears on the Onion’s AV. Club website). In this entry there is a reference to the phenomenon of recapturing offensive words, more formally known as reclaiming. The final example of a reclaimed word on that page is fat, by the size-acceptance movement.

That is when I realized the bizarre route I just took. All I wanted to know was if two television characters were based on real individuals…

Rome to size-acceptance in three hours.

Technorati Tags: answers.com, evenings, fun-facts, procrastination, roman empire, rome, size-acceptance, wasting time, wikipedia

The Onion has been bought out by State Controlled Media!

Bryan — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:38:54 +0000

America’s Finest News Source is now owned by Yu Wan Mei: Amalgamated Fisheries Salvage and Polymer Injection Corp…

NEW YORK—According to all sources, the People’s Republic of China is strong. The nation is united, the military unmatched, the economy vibrant, and the people ever joyful.

Brilliant! Read it all :-)

I don’t remember the Onion ever dedicating a complete face-life to a topic before. Fantastic! Very well done!

Technorati Tags: china, humour

The Ottawa Zoo

Bryan — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 17:33:10 +0000

I don’t have internet or television in my flat, but I do have CBC radio which has the nasty habit of broadcasting news updates every half-hour. So, for the past several days I’ve been receiving great chunks of comedy every thirty minutes in the form of sound bites from Question Period at the Canadian Parliment.

I just laugh to myself…out loud. This whole thing is just that ludicrous.

The egos, the arrogrance, powermongering, short-term thinking and the selfishness of every leader, everyone and every party in this whole clown show is quite embarrasing to say the least…especially during the current economic situation.

Older generations would often say that “all politicians are bozos” – I always found this too simplistic and would like to give the benefit of the doubt to people doing a job that is obviously difficult.

They were probably on to something.

*By request – My take on the Monkeys….

(apologies for name dropping Canadian politicians unknown outside of Canada). We are having a bit of a government crisis in Canada at the moment…all of that famous Canadian “Peace, Order and Good Government”…heh heh heh..well…not this Christmas.

Jack Layton (NDP) is grabbing all of the bananas he can get…“more..more..moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!”

Stephen Harper (Conservative) is hanging on to power by his tail…”I probably should have given this other banana to Canadians…”

Stephane Dion (Liberal) is obviously the weak little monkey in the back…“guys….I’m still here…”

Gilles Duceppe (Bloc Quebecois), who is probably going to be the winner in all of this is, is the monkey making the face at the rest of Canada. “I can’t believe you guys let me in on this…I gain everything and lose nothing…suckers”

Michaëlle Jean (Governor General) is the Ninja who is going to slice and dice things on Monday. “alright…who wants some”

Technorati Tags: canada, canadian politics, cbc, comedy, monkeys, question period

Some websites

Bryan — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:47:16 +0000

A colleague walks into my office yesterday and introduces me to tiny little site called Stuff White People Like – with the proviso that he isn’t going to be responsible for any procrastination or large amounts of time lost as a result of this introduction.

I haven’t laughed that consistently since Tropic Thunder. Probably my favorite is the grad school entry:

Being in graduate school satisfies many white requirements for happiness. They can believe they are helping the world, complain that the government/university doesn’t support them enough, claim they are poor, feel as though are getting smarter, act superior to other people, enjoy perpetual three day weekends, and sleep in every day of the week!

This site also has the most comments/entry I’ve seen in awhile – with some posts clocking thousands of comments and trackbacks.

While I’m at it, I’ll also plug China Smack – it’s translated run-down of the hottest tabloid stories in China. It’s complete news trash (but strangely interesting), however the translated comments provide good a different angle into another aspect of life on the Mainland.

Technorati Tags: china, grad school, humour, procrastination, white people

Procrastination Animation

Bryan — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 18:10:48 +0000

From cominganarchy.com – Try watching this for a few moments and become hopelessly lost and strangely amused.

Technorati Tags: japan

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How to get a Russian visa in Shanghai

Bryan — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:48:52 +0000

If you have been wasting time on the is site you are probably aware that I’ve been whining about the perils of obtaining visas from the Russian consulate in Shanghai.

I’ve decided to fuse my story with some information so anyone who happens to stumble to this post via some clever search words will have some information to run with.

Keep in mind that your eligibility and the visa fees vary with the passport that you hold.

If you are Canadian…this is what you need:

Tourist voucher (I used getrussian.com). My colour, but fuzzy pdf copy was accepted but not without some serious cross-checking from consulate staff)
Two passport photos. Actually, they only needed one, but it is always a good idea to keep a stack of these handy when you are traveling, and it is never a good idea to walk into a consulate with only one.
Copies of travel insurance. I brought 3 copies with me. The guy glanced at them and then promptly returned them to me.
Copies of your passport and China residency permit. The residency permit/work-visa is essential. Russian tourist visas in Shanghai are only provided to those who have legal working/living status in China. If you are just traveling through, it currently appears that you are out of luck.
A famous last name to break the ice.

The consulate is located near the Bund at #20 Huangpu Road (黄浦路20号). The easiest way to get there is by taxi, but if you are a cheap punk like myself you can make your way down to the Bund and just walk north along it, cross Suzhou creek and you should see a very nice colonial-style villa standing along facing out towards the Huangpu River…just look for the Russian flag.

Consulate hours are currently 9:15 – 12:00 Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I’ve read internet reports of massive lines at this particular consulate. I arrived a little late at 9:00am, but there were only about 15 people in the line. It didn’t start moving until 9:30. Keep in mind that it is highly probable that one or two people in the line are representing a group of travelers or business people and have a stack of applications.

You will be asked for your passport by the Chinese guards and then upon entering the grounds, be asked by a Russian security-looking fellow to stow your mobile in a outdoor locker.

The visa section is a tiny little room and the staff are very, very slow. Keep that in mind…this is probably the slowest visa office I’ve ever visited. A simple appication form is avaliable in this room.

One of the visa officers has developed a bit of an online notoriety as a typical Russian hard-ass…and of course I end up in his line.

After waiting for about 30 minutes, it was my turn…immediately following an rejected American (I think he was trying to get a business visa – which seems to be more of a headache).

I pass all of my documents, including my very obviously-not-original tourist vouchers, through the window box.

I’ve applied for quite a few visas during my time in Asia, but I’ve never had anyone go through my documents so thoroughly. I believe he spent about ten minutes pouring over the papers and digging around my passport. He pulled out a couple of binders to compare information – possibly the valididy of my voucher issuing company. He didn’t look at me once. Then he got up and walked away…then came back several minutes later. I was was pretty sure I was going to get rejected.

VO: “What do you do in China?”

B: “I work and live in Nanjing”.

VO: “oh…..*small smile forms on his face*…..do you perhaps relation to Sidney Crosby?”

*after I heard that I knew that everything was going to be ok.

B: “Yes, he’s actually my father’s cousins’ son”

I think it is pretty obvious that I’m not and I’m sure he knew it as well, but I figured I didn’t want to disappoint the guy…besides…he smilied and my visa was on the line.

VO: “heh heh heh…he is good player. I can give you visa 15 days”.

And that, is how I got my Russian visa. Although the legitimate excuse for obtaining it was my Chinese residency permit, I like to think that my last name makes for a better story.

Technorati Tags: china, russian shanghai consulate, shanghai russian visa, sidney crosby, visa

Rising petrol prices and the consumer response

Bryan — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:53:19 +0000

I pulled this off the Planetizen blog (Click to enlarge). So where are you? One gallon is approximately 2.78 liters.

My bike is really cool.

…actually, I don’t have a bike…but I would say that if I did.

Technorati Tags: environment, gas prices

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Hoth

Bryan — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 14:45:32 +0000

Because even though I tell everyone I have no time, I still seem to find it to waste on useless fantasy factoids and get caught up with internet chain surfing. Don’t ask how I managed to surf across the Wookiepedia, which inevitably led me to AtomFilms whereI found this short gem.

Everyone knows The Battle of Hoth was the coolest thing to happen in Star Wars, ever. Now it’s got its own documentary.

If it’s too dorky for you (and it probably is) you may choose instead to browse around AtomFilms, there are some really good shorts archived.

I think I was just complaining about how I don’t have a enough intellectually stimulating things to do. I’m such a loser :-P

Technorati Tags: star wars

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Lowly Worm

Bryan — Sun, 30 Oct 2005 06:54:51 +0000

And on a much lighter note. Remember Richard Scarry? Huckle Cat, Hilda Hippo, Mr. Fixit?

Move over comrades, we are taking Red Square!

Seriously, this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a very, very, very long time.

Dumb