Every once in awhile Queen’s Alumni Association holds events such as networking 101, wine tasting and how to tie-a-tie. I’m already quite good with the double windsor, and I don’t like wine. There. I said it.
I do like beer and was quite happy when I heard that Big Rock Brewery was holding a beer-tasting event on campus. The only thing I know about beer is that I like it better than wine. It’s a portable, cheap and diverse beverage of the people. $15 gets one an hour an a half with a Big Rock beer professional, a handy style guide and five samples of Big Rock brews. Grasshopper, Warthog, Traditional Ale, Pale Ale and some kind of Cider. Also included are interesting beer factoids like reason behind the bottle colourings and why MGD uses genetically modified ingredients.
The problem with beer tasting and broader beer appreciation is that one falls directly into stuffwhitepeoplelike.com. Just substitute ‘wine’ with ‘beer’.
When a white person offers you wine, you take a small sip and then say “ooh, that’s nice. What country is it from?” then they will say the name of the country and you say “I love wines from that country, I would love to get a villa in the wine region there.” White people will nod in agreement as they all want to have a second home in a wine region like Napa, Tuscany or Santa Barbara.
It is also a good idea to say that your favorite wine is from a small winery called [make up name like ‘Spotswood,’ ‘Red Duck,’ Random Spanish name] in [Australia, Argentina, France, California, or Chile] that is hard to get in whatever country you are in. White people will be impressed that they have not heard of this wine and consider you to be a very smart person. They will also make a note to try to find that wine, and when they can’t find it, your status will rise even higher.
This becomes even more true when it was revealed that there is a growing movement seeking to pair beers with food. One can’t just drink a beer anymore. Oh well…I guess there is a little white person in all of us. Well, maybe not if you like your wine in a box. Or a cooler. You’re still safe with that choice.