Name that Maid

By Bryan • china • 15 Mar 2005

I’m thinking about getting a maid. While I keep my place relatively tidy, aside from sweeping the floors, I’ve never actually thoroughly cleaned the place and I realized a few days ago that it is actually a very dirty apartment. The dust is piling up everywhere and there’s got to be about a kilo of dirt lying around in my washroom and shower.

I had two middle school students follow me home yesterday. Apparently they were taking their university entrance exams at NNU. I was cornered at the main gate. I’ve been told this phenomenon occurs a lot out in the rural areas, but it is un-heard of in Nanjing (foreigners are as common as cockroaches in here). Since they were from the country (Soo…something…can’t remember) I let them tag along. Before they went on their way, they asked me for English names. Handing out English names is my favourite part of being in China, maybe because the Chinese are somewhat incapable of giving themselves decent names…Cinderella? Kobe Bryant? Yup. Anyway, I love assigning proper names. There is now one additional Julia and Neal in China.

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16 Responses

  1. Fraser

    next time i wanna see a “Butch” or a “Wolfgang”. Pfff….”Neal”. Poor guy, probably get beat up on the way to english uni with such a sissy name. (if there are any Neals that are bigger than me and reading this – disregard this comment).

  2. Bill

    LOL…Neal if you’re out there…Fraser lives in Montreal Quebec, if you want his exact address drop me an email.

  3. Mel

    So B just exactly how do you hand out English names. Do you consult the Almanac or something or just randomly pick a name out of your head…Hmmm I haven’t heard from so and so in a while…. you can be Todd from now on?! Or is it a big to do that actually relates to their names somehow.
    If that’s the case can you give out chinese names to the likes of Fraser and Bill. I don’t know something along the lines of Harry and Lloyd? :P

  4. Bryan

    I roughly base it on the sound of their Chinese name…I stress roughly. Most are very concerned about the meaning of their name…and I usually get “what does it mean?” I just tell them it doesn’t matter.

    A few months ago, I named I guy Wendel…I’ve been told he didn’t like it very much…

  5. Fraser

    Maybe he hasnt heard of Wendell Clark, former Toronto Maple Leaf! Wendell: A wanderer. Slavic or Teutonic origin. A proud name.

  6. Bryan

    That particular Wendell…if I remember correctly, was quite a little scrapper in his time.

  7. Connie

    i can attest to the fact that my student “wendell” did not take to the name bryan gave him. i tried to persuade him, since it is indeed a fine specimen of a name and is so close to his chinese name but…’twas futile. wouldn’t even entertain it for a second. i had to rename him william. bah.

  8. Fraser

    Hahahaha! “William”! Now they’ll be calling him “Bill” or “Sunshine” for short!

  9. Mel

    Or thumbman….you can’t forget thumbman

  10. Bill

    For your information guys…and i quote “according to the US Census 2000, the name William is the 5th most popular male first name with 2.451% of the male population, or around 30,002,475 Williams in the US.”

    Anyone with the name William should feel so lucky, and those who make fun of it are just jealous :P

  11. archy

    aahhhhh william – the man who would be king of us all one day

  12. Hhh-hhhhhhh.

    Raaaape Heeeeeelp …..Hu-hu-hu –
    Ahhhhhhhhhh! Heeelp! H-hhhu -hu
    Ahhhhh! Raaaaaaaape ! Hu -hu-hu .!

    Ahhhhhhh! Heeeeeelp .

  13. Bryan

    ….??? Anyone want to say something witty about that last comment?

  14. Fraser

    Well, if that’s a name suggestion – I think its a little too busy.

  15. Bill

    Im not a big fan…i think the poor kid would get teased at school…

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